Patron Saint of Lost Objects

First I found some girl’s College ID, now I’ve found Assunta’s credit card in the street. Not to mention hanging that scarf up in yesterday’s downpour in hopes that the owner would pass back by & see it. What am I the patron Saint of lost objects?

[It is a metaphor] And who says NYer’s don’t care? I’m spending that paper now, and getting into the bar later with an underage white girl. We be drankin’

…and buying them skittles to solve the riddle!

Low Battery Blues

It seems dangerous to go out of your house, even for a quick run to the store when your phone’s battery is on 18% right? You never know if you will see a celebrity sighting (no pic/didn’t happen) or a fight that YouTube doesn’t have (‪#‎SharkeishaForLife‬). Plus I’d be remiss if upon spying myself in that shop window—I didn’t share the goodness, amirtie?

It almost seems cruel to make me have to experience the struggle when all I have to do is wait a little while, right? (It is already up to 20%)
What is the bar? At what point is it safe? 25%? 50%?

#TheStrugglesAreReal #FirstWorldProblems #LifeComesAtYouFast

Love To…

Take a girl like that
And put her in a natural setting
Like a cafe for example.
Along comes the boy
And he’s looking for trouble
With a girl like that
With a girl like that.
Who knows what they’ll decide to do.
Who knows what they’ll get up to.
I’d love to know.

Wouldn’t you?

Dear Goodness:

Some witch in a really bad bleached out Godiva wig has made an 11 minute music video that is awful…4 minutes of which are credits rolling at the end. Because everyone wants to know who the team was that did makeup for the dancers, don’t they?

She can not end up on skid row fast enough for me, with no career, no fans, or hope of ever making such a travesty again.


— Me


What if I told you that the hard work hasn’t even begun. That what you are going through right now is merely a prelude. Would you believe me if I said that the hard work will be enjoyable?

You should.


D. A. Królak

RE: GaGa

You can’t change the world, by changing your outfit. You can’t puke up all the nastiness in this world & remain covered in it to then preach to me about representation. You can’t glorify that or start a conversation with the whole world and not expect to get rebuked. Better to, as you say (numerous times) just do the music & leave the rest of it as it is. If you don’t want a conversation — but instead want to tell us, the whole world, what is wrong with us, and not expect that message to come off as wholly outside your domain — then honey, you have picked the wrong profession.

Who you finna’try ‪#‎CAPSCAPSCAPS‬

Preach That Word:

2014-03-08 The Fall screencap

“The media loves to divide women into Virgins or Vamps. Angels or Whores. Let’s not encourage them, shall we.”

— Detective Superintendent (DSI) Stella Gibson

You Disgust Me

To the woman casually picking the dead skin off your lips and the man who was getting off in two stops:


You saw that old woman get on the bus but chose to ignore her or offer your seat and I hate you for it.