A rather lame writer’s joke.
A week into my advent calendar and behind each door is another nightmare….
PS: I’m kidding, don’t have an advent calendar….
If I ever say I’m going to the store on Wednesday during the day – remind me it is “Senior Discount Day” and then tell me I better not.
Nobody likes to elbow grandma, least of all me.
I will never be able to pronounce: synecdoche
While we can chase the illusion of perfection, my personal mythos of the perfect has always been imagined as a healing garden on a tiny barrier island with open windows and plentiful sea breezes. I’m viscerally reminded that the idea of perfection can be a haunt. Good friend told me 25+ years ago to be careful: “Personal Myths we tell ourselves can be the most damaging of all”
(This was inspired by a post on Black Girl in Maine: Winds of Change)
Clickbait headline writers really have ruined the phrase: “Rarely Seen Photographs…”
You know what Yonce?
Of Course some sh*t goes down, even when there ISN’T a Billion Dollahs on an elevator. Like I’ve seen it pop-off for like Two-Fitty.
Whoever developed an auto-roll video ad for IBT that after muting stays muted for 5 seconds (long enough for you to scroll away) and then unmutes has earned a special punishment in hell…
If you’re Bolognese sauce calls for tomato paste—you might not be Italian enough.
(Yes, I’m side-eyeing you Ina Garten…girlllllll…..)
this is not what porn is supposed to look like. Corn autocorrect. Corn.
Holding Tinh Cha over my nipples & let me just tell you — if you’ve not tried it, then please don’t judge me.
Ya’ll is LOUD AF
Some of us hermits would appreciate it if you could keep it below the rumble of a garbage truck.
Awards go to the woman so old she needs one of those walker/seat things who YELLED AT THE TOP of her lungs for being called YaYa (which is Grandma in Greek, or something) then when she got outside – an older gentleman called her the same thing & she started again, talking about:
NOT YAYA F*CKER.
Take it easy gramma, you gonna catch a case like that
Just bounced so hard that the cat nearly fell off the damn bed, she saved it… (which is not her typical clutzishness) Making me so proud….
There is literally nothing creepier, than to hear claws scratching on the cat post, then look around & realize both your cats are sleeping beside you!
Time for a dance break, go on India.Arie talkmbout
“When I look in the mirror & the only one there is me…”
You know there are few things worse than a Phil Collins song coming on the radio to ruin your mood… sheesh…
The Lobster Font is becoming this generation’s (or the hipster’s) comic sans…
Pretendians & Tildren are the two words I learnt today.
I have decided the best writers just make up words
After the day I’ve had, you can not jump down from the dining room table chairs & not expect me to have a heart attack. If your mission was for me to die so you could eat my face off, you were almost successful. I applaud you for having some skills. But it is game on. BRANG IT.